I had my 39-week appointment yesterday. Gotta say - I'm completely surprised I've made it this far. Looks like everyone else is, too.The good news is I'm healthy, and measuring right on track at 39 weeks. Same weight as last week, which means I myself am most likely LOSING weight, because Sofia is still gaining.
Ohhhh Sofia. You are definitely gaining.
The plan is to let me cook naturally a little while longer. I've been having contractions for over a week now, so I'm a little surprised he didn't just go ahead and induce this week - my due date being Friday and all. What I'm having are definitely real labor pains, but they're all over the place. Sometimes they will last for 2 hours, 5 minutes apart; other times they will be randomly every 1/2 hour or so. I've already been to the hospital twice, and sent home each time. Next time better be the real deal or I'll feel awfully silly. I can just envision the Labor & Delivery nurses rolling their eyes at me as I walk in yet again.
On to more interesting things.
Thanks to a link my friend Jessica sent my way, I was captured by a certain blog entry this morning.
And now I feel comfortable - no, empowered - to voice my reasoning for taking an indefinite break from "professional" photography.
I have a passion for making images - that is unwavering. My mistake was taking every odd photography job I could just to make a few bucks. I was in a hurry to make money and be known, and that took precedence over learning the most important things about photography. The disappointing thing is that it's such a popular field. It seems like anyone could pick up some decent equipment, let it do the work for them, and call themselves a photographer.
Ever since I got my first camera, I have been determined to learn everything about image-making, and knew that I wouldn't truly be a photographer until that was achieved. I believe in quality over popularity, but sadly, I am guilty of taking the lazy route and not living up to my own expectations. I am disappointed in myself for this reason. Sadly, some of that fiery passion may have gotten lost in the mix.
I've always wanted to stand out in my field, whatever that may be. Now's not the time for photography to be that field. I have been feeling the need for a long while to back down from the competition, take my time to learn it right, and simply do it for my own pleasure. No more senior photos, no more weddings... just art for art's sake.
Thankfully, I've got many other things going on to keep me plenty busy. My part-time job designing ads will be enough for me to stay on my creative toes.
So, thanks to that article for helping me get across what I've been meaning to say for months now.
1 comment:
Oh I hear ya girl.... I have been feeling the SAME way as you about photography for the past year or so. And more recently, it just seems like everyone and their brother is buying a dSLR and becoming a "photographer" overnight. Granted, that's how I STARTED.... buying a dSLR... but I worked my ass off for nearly 3 years before calling myself a photographer and even nowso I have a very hard time of calling myself that. My first year in business I grossed 30k. Amazing and I never imagined I'd take off like that the first year. But... my passion dwindled and my self esteem wavered as I heard of more and more "photographers" entering the field. I'm just not a competitive person by nature and I figure... if you want to do it cheaper/crappier/etc... go for it. Take my clients. Whateva. Anyhow... OMG long comment!! I hear you, though. I feel the need to step back but OMG I have so much to pay in student loans, doing photography is the only way to pay on that debt. No way can I bust my ass like I did my first year in business... I was barely spending time with my family at night. I'm trying to step back, trying to be "ok" with not being as busy as Joe Blow. I like your idea... step back and focus on the ART. I've realized I've stopped taking picture of my kids for the sake of taking pictures... I don't look for the art, the creativity, the way to capture the moment, the emotion, when I'm taking pictures of my kids. Its just routine now. I am trying to step back and focus on capturing the moment and the passion again.
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