On making the world go 'round.

A couple days ago, Jason & I had our first cross words with each other in a loooooong time.
(I'm talking months.)

It was bedtime, and Tiegan was in the living room throwing a fit. Waterworks and everything. It was my night with Sofia so I took her up to bed and put her down. I came back to the living room and knelt down next to Jason, putting my head on his shoulder. I took a deep breath, and he cut me off in a curt tone -- "just go to bed and I'll deal with this."

I told him he didn't have to have an attitude. He told me I didn't have to come down and complain about the noise Tiegan was making. He assumed I was putting my head on his shoulder in frustration as if to say, "Please make her be quiet so I can go to sleep."

What he didn't realize is, I was actually about to say, "Okay I've got Sofia to bed now. What can I do to help?"

So I stormed upstairs, while snapping at him about trying to read my mind. Or something.

So really, obviously a silly little quarrel.

Once he had finally gotten Tiegan calmed down and in bed, he came into our room to talk about what we said. We both explained what we meant and that we hadn't intended to be rude to each other... and agreed the whole thing was silly.

And that was that. And we went to sleep happy, in each other's arms.

Never go to bed angry. Always communicate about problems. Embrace each other through tough times. Stay close, yet give each other space when needed. These are things that have gotten us through the tough times. That, and the fact that our beliefs and ideals as far as marriage is concerned are so much alike.

I rejoice every day in the fact that I have such a beautifully functioning family, and that our house is bursting with love.

Here's To Sticking With It

I'm proud to say that I have started the Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred and have every intention of sticking with it until the end. I felt like I was coughing my stomach out after I was done with the simple 20-minute workout yesterday, but today was much smoother. I have fallen in love with breaking a sweat.

It's true, what workout-aholics say... it's a great rush and finishing a good, grueling workout actually makes you want more.

I am on day 2 and my legs feel like Jell-O, but my pants are fitting better already. And my tops? Well, I'll probably see more of a change in that area in a few years when I've saved up for my tummy tuck.

Work Out Kid

Help! I haven't been quite as strict on my at-home fitness regime as I'd hoped to be.

Oops.
Big oops.

I was going to be really hard on myself - like, put myself through boot camp to get back in shape. But, once again, I have slacked off and let myself down. It's hard to admit I need someone else to kick my ass into shape, and that I don't have the guts. But here I am, admitting it. That's the first step, right?

All it took was me trying on my 2-sizes-bigger-than-pre-pregnancy jeans 3.5 months after giving birth and STILL not being able to pull them up over my thighs. Goodbye, carbs!

So... does anyone know of a way to find some great at-home fitness tips? I don't have the money for a gym membership, and there aren't many good shows on the Fit channel during the times I can exercise.

Push Through

I thought I had done a great job in avoiding this sickness that's been going around. Nearly everyone I know has been sick and gotten over it, so I thought I was in the clear.

Boy, was I wrong! Despite the frequent hand-washing, avoiding touching my face, washing and re-washing sheets & pillowcases, some sort of bug has decided to unpack its bags and set up shop in my immune system. Which is just great, because I have a weak immune system. Make yourselves comfortable, nasty bugs, because you're gonna be here for a while.

I don't feel too horrible (yet), but last night I was up with a migraine caused by the congestion. Thankfully the migraine is gone now, but I had to take the day off work. My first sick day since maternity leave. I can't help but think there should have been something I could do - I should have pushed myself harder and gone to work anyway. Even though I know there is no way in hell I would have been able to stare at a computer monitor for 5 hours without puking, I still feel guilty. Why is that?

In happier news, I was able to record video (on my cell phone - hence crappy quality) of Sofia's first laughter the other day. It was uplifting to say the least. Something so uninhibited and genuinely happy... it made my day. My week, really.

I've Got Answers

Outside my window... I see lights from faraway houses reflecting on the calm lake between us.

I am thinking... about going to bed soon, and that it's been such a long time since I've had an evening massage. Having 2 children really changes things.

I am thankful for... having a family that works as a team. We talk out our problems and we work through our rough patches logically - whether they be emotional, financial, parental or otherwise. I remind myself every day of how lucky I am to be married to a sweet, loving, and understanding person with whom I have so much in common.

In my kitchen... the cabinets are screaming for some paint and the appliances ache to be replaced. I could really use a dishwasher, too, but I won't get greedy.

I am wearing... grey athletic pants, a green tank, and Jason's WMU hoodie.

I am creating... a comfortable, clean home for my family. It's a daily work in progress which will probably never end.

I am going... to force myself to be more motivated in the exercise department. A little cardio every day will be good for me, and I feel better when I'm more active - which will hopefully result in getting back down to my pre-pregnancy size.

I am reading... Touch Points by Dr. Brazelton. Re-reading, actually. Highly recommended to parents of children 3 and under.

I am hoping... we are able to get a Wii sometime in the next few months. Our family deserves it, and I think it would be fun for Tiegan & help her to feel included. Also, the Wii Fit would really help me with the weight/fitness issue I have.

I am hearing... The race on TV, the dull roar of the furnace from the basement, and Jason snoring on the couch.

Around the house... are random items lying around and bare walls that do not reflect my personality whatsoever. I believe you can learn a lot about someone from their home, but from mine, you would get the wrong impression of me.

One of my favorite things right now... is being with my family. I spend plenty of time with the girls, but what I really love is when Jason is home for the weekend. Not only do I enjoy our leisure time together, I also get some help from him with the girls so I can get housework done.

A few plans for the weekend... Lounging around and enjoying our last day off before the start of the new work week. Maybe going out and grabbing a few pumpkins for us to carve - nothing fancy.

A picture to share...

The view from my front yard. This is what I see out my living room sliding door every day. Another thing that hardly ever fails to put a smile on my face.

The New Sarah Bernhardt

Sometimes I feel like I have the smartest, most well-mannered 3.5 year old on Earth.
She says "please" and "thank you" most of the time.
She offers a helping hand when chores need to be done.
She is learning to read and write at an incredible rate.
She is sweet and helpful with her baby sister.
She reminds me & Jason (when she's not mad at us) that she loves us THIIIISSSSS much.
When asked to help, she usually jumps on the task with excitement.

Other times, I feel like I have the most ill-behaved 3.5 year old on Earth.
This is an exaggeration, I'm sure, but I can't describe how quickly I've been losing my patience with her lately. Several days in a row now, I've had to resort to sending her to her room until she's calmed down. This is a new development. I'm not used to having to be such a disciplinarian. I can't say I love the job, but it is exactly that.

She melts down about the littlest things. Usually it's about making her do something she didn't want to, or making her stop doing something she was enjoying. And then once she's upset, she eggs herself on by finding other little things to whine (scream uncontrollably) about.

Example: The other day I put her in her room after a good solid hour of her screaming and crying about... well, I really don't remember, to be honest. After 10 minutes she herself has forgotten what the original problem was.
So, she was in her room forcing herself to make awful noises and grunts and whines so the tears would keep flowing. I stood outside her door, listening:
"WHY are my SANDALS up here in my ROOOoOoOooOooOOOOOMMMM-uh???" (repeat x3)
"I didn't WANT my nightlight onnnNNNNnNnNNNNnn-uh!!!" (repeat x5)
"I want my MOMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!" (repeat x3)
So, I finally take a deep breath, and go in to check on her.
"NO - Get out of my room, I'm MAD at you!"

Drama. Queen.

She's lucky she's pretty.

I Blame it On The Hormones.

My warm, soft little baby is growing bigger by the second and there's nothing I can do about it! AAAHHH!! My worst nightmare!

Thankfully she still loves to snuggle. I can only hope she won't outgrow that too soon. I need it. On the other hand, though, I don't want to rely on her too much to always be my baby. The dreaded fate of the youngest child.

I do admit I look forward to all the adorable (and amazing) 1st-year milestones. So much happens in those 12 short months. I have promised myself not to let that time fly past me unrecognized. It will be gone forever before I know it, and I will miss cradling this soft, snuggly, warm baby in my arms.

A little bit of this and that.

Here comes the "I need to blog more often but don't have much to say" post. The one where I list the random unimportant things that have been on my mind just to get a post out there, for fear of totally losing my will to blog.

• My headaches have become more frequent. Thankfully they've only been more of a nuisance; not quite paralyzing like usual.
• Jason got his first set of contacts the other day, and has been spending at least 1 hour on them in the morning, and another hour before bed. It's cute. I love that I can see his gorgeous eyes and enormous lashes now.
• I have really been wanting a sewing machine. I always make these promises to myself that I will be more crafty, will recycle/refurbish fabrics more often, but I never do. Now I just have to decide what I'd rather have when the money comes my way - a new Blackberry, a Wii, or a sewing machine?
• Desperate Housewives is my crack. I am so addicted. A couple weeks ago I started watching reruns on Lifetime at 3pm every day after work. Then I missed a couple episodes and thought I'd see if I could find a place to watch them online. Once I was caught up again (still season 1), I didn't want to stop. I now watch eps on the laptop every evening and have no idea what I'm going to do when I'm all caught up to the current episodes and have to wait a WHOLE WEEK between shows. (That is where the sewing machine or Wii could come in handy).
• I still really, really like my job. I can't stress enough how enjoyable it is to work at a place where I'm trusted and respected as an equal. It really feels like a team effort. As some of you who may have followed my writing in the past, you know that this is a huge improvement from my last newspaper job. Plus, it's kind of fun looking through the newspaper and being able to tell your friends, "See that full-page ad? I designed it!"
• I'm dreading winter. I know so many people say this, but I'm really - REALLY dreading it. For a lifetime Michigander, I sure do hate the cold more than you'd think. I've never been diagnosed but I think I may have SAD (aka Seasonal Affective Disorder). During the colder months I am not only irritable but unmotivated, cranky and borderline depressed. I have no energy and I feel clumsy. And it doesn't help that my hair turns to straw and my skin to sandpaper when the temperature drops below 50. The only things that get me through are the excitement of seeing Tiegan play in the snow, and of course cute boots on sale. Anyone out there feel the same? I hope we get one last kick of warmish weather before the Earth starts to freeze.
• My mom is making Tiegan's halloween costume. I saw a draft yesterday. I'm so stoked to show everyone photos after Halloween - hopefully she enjoys wearing it! It will be really special because my Mom always made our Halloween costumes as kids, and we still have them to this day. I plan on keeping the ones she makes for my daughters, too, so they can pass them down.

Time to pick up Sofia. Tiegan has dance class on Monday evenings, which Grandma Judy takes her to. She has so much fun there. I'm glad she's able to have that outlet. But since I'm not there, I really wonder how she behaves. Not that it's a huge concern, but lately she has been very emotional/whiny. Really, since Sofia was born. I am starting to see the connection. Hm....

To Pay or Not to Pay

I will preface this by saying I don't know much about insurance. Any form of insurance.

Like, the most I know about insurance is that you pay a certain monthly amount based on your history and likelihood of disaster, and if a disaster should happen, the insurance company will pay a portion of your bills to fix said disaster.

We just got a new car a few months ago. When we got the new car, we switched to Progressive for both cars.

Now, they are telling us that they decided to charge an extra $30/month because Jason doesn't have health insurance. Oh, and by the way, they are going to need that same $30/month for the last 3 months, upfront for the next bill. Next week.

Why in the world would they decide that NOW? And why in the world would they suddenly spring it on us that they are charging us retroactive for the past 3 months? And WHY in the world does it even MATTER if he has health insurance or not? They didn't bring it up when we acquired this plan 3 months ago. It wasn't part of the application process. I'm not sure I understand why they suddenly changed their minds.

I am of the opinion that one would tend to drive more carefully if they don't have health insurance. Because hospital bills are a lot harder to pay without health insurance. And vehicle insurance companies like to see you driving safely so that you don't get in a crash. So they don't have to pay for your car to get fixed. So they can keep all your money like the greedy bloodsuckers they are.

Right?

Contents Under Pressure

I think the wee one might be cutting a tooth already. She's only 2 months old! OK... 2 and a half... but still, what babies have you known to cut teeth that soon? I'm trying to remember when Tiegan's first tooth popped through, and I'm thinking it was around 4-5 months. Everyone's different I guess.

My first clue was that Sofia has been chomping on her fingers lately, and is flooding the house with drool. When Jason brought the girls home from his grandma's today, he said Judy mentioned she thinks Sofia's teething. Now knowing I'm not the only one having those thoughts, I stuck my finger in there and felt around for myself. I can't be certain but it feels like there's a tooth just aching to poke out on the top. She gleefully chewed on a cold, wet washcloth this evening. So, we'll see.

Gosh, it's a little sad that the most exciting story I have to tell you is that my baby chewed on a washcloth today. You are all so riveted, I just know it!

I did have a migraine today. Life-leeching, evil monstrosities are what they are.

Thankfully I don't get them very often anymore (as a kid I would get at least one per week). But when I do, I'm down for the count. When I feel one coming on, please hole me up in a cool, dark, quiet room with a comfy bed, an ice pack, a puke bucket and lots of pain killers for 6 hours and maybe - just MAYBE - I will come out of it not wanting to jab a fork in my eye. Oh, and don't forget the cell phone for calling 911 because I'm positive that nothing in the world (besides giving birth) could ever be this painful and I'm absolutely GOING TO DIE if I vomit one more time. Because 17 isn't enough. And why don't we throw in a lung, for good measure. You don't need both of them, right?

I have endless sympathy for those that experience the same thing. That kind of misery should be reserved solely for those who commit terrible crimes. Screw the death penalty - give them migraines!