No going back now

In a week, my newborn baby will be one. month. old.

What?!

These next 3 days will fly by before I go back to work Monday. I'm actually happy about that, because yesterday was one of those days. You know the kind where everyone needs something from you RIGHT NOW and OH MY GOD can I just get a moment of SILENCE. I believe I even sent a text message to Jason at some point, saying, "2 kids? what was I thinking?"

I think I'm coming down from that 3-week adrenaline rush, but still happy as ever. And totally head over heels for both my beautiful girls.

So here's my weekend...

Today (Friday): Mom's picking me & the girls up later this afternoon to meet Jason in Lansing to go car-shopping. Actually, we think we already have our car picked out & everything. I'm not jinxing it, though - we just have to do some paperwork and see if they can make it happen.

Saturday: Retail therapy. These pesky extra 20 lbs. need some love. I think I will feel much better with some clothes that actually fit me (you know, other than sweatpants) until I shed the rest of my baby weight. There's nothing quite like trying to wear your husband's pants and finding that even THOSE won't zip. Granted, my husband is a 29/29... but still.

Sunday: Lansing Lugnuts game! Jason surprised us with tickets yesterday. The 4 of us are going as a family. Should be interesting with a 3 week old baby. I think there will be fireworks. Yikes. BUT, a fun adventure I'm sure!

Nostalgia

Looking for baby photos of Tiegan today, and having 2 bum computers that need to have the hard drives extracted, I was reduced to summoning my brain power. How so? I had to remember old photobucket passwords.

Thankfully, I was successful! That preggo-brain must be wearing off. (Anyone else get that? Idiocy during pregnancy?)

Browsing through scads of photos from the past 3 years, I got a little teary-eyed. As any ragingly hormonal woman would. I just thought I'd share some of my favorites.

Pregnant with Tiegan during Christmas '05:
(and badly needing hair dye!!)


T's bedroom at our old house - the one we brought her home to:
(I wish you could see it better, but the walls are a light green and the ceiling, which is coved, was painted light blue. My dad and I hand-painted clouds, which you can see just a little bit of at the top of the walls.)


A signature banner I made for a parenting message board I belonged to:


Going back a little further in time... our wedding day!
(Looking at this photo reminds me how glad I am that J and I didn't go through with a divorce last year. We are too perfect together to let all this love go to waste.)






A toothless Tiegan next to an old picture of me:


At one of Jason's softball games:


Halloween '07 - dinosaur costume that my mom made:


Jas and me doing what we do best:
(I might just consider going redhead again...)

Burn, Baby, Burn

At 2.5 weeks postpartum, and with 20 lbs. left to lose, I'm slowly feeling inclined to start exercising again.

As I stretched this morning on the living room floor, I had flashbacks of sweating away with Denise Austin's 7am shows on FitTV at our old house on Webster Street.

That woman helped me burn away 50 lbs. after I had Tiegan. It took me quite a while (almost a whole year) to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, probably because I didn't exercise as religiously as I should have. And also because I was hooked on horribly fattening foods during my pregnancy with her, and it took me forever to adjust my diet back to an acceptable level.

This time I vowed that I would go at it full-on, hardcore as soon as I was feeling well enough to exercise. I'm so excited to be fit and trim again. But rather than just making that promise to myself, I'm putting it here as motivation. See, I'm not so great at keeping the promises I make to myself. So I figure if I put it out in the open, that gives me a better reason to stick with it. If I break a promise that exists only in my head, it's easy to talk myself out of feeling guilty. But if it's here in writing for everyone to see, I'd be embarrassed if I broke that promise and will have to shamefully and publicly fess up - which is something no one likes to do.

I started a set of crunches this morning and felt twinges in muscles I forgot existed. I realized how badly out of shape I am, and am mourning the loss of flexibility I once had. I'll get it back.

I would love to have these...

(for taking Sofia out on my own)

(for when Sofia is bigger/more stable in a front-facing stroller)

Dream on, sister. But hey - if anyone has a double stroller/carseat combo for sale on the cheap, I'd be interested. Right now I'm working with a 3 year old stroller that has a Case of the Missing Carseat, and I'm not quite ready to put Sofia in the forward-facing seat just yet. So tiny and wobbly - I'd like to see her and make sure she's got enough cradling support. That's where the Missing Carseat comes in.

SO. Now that I've forgotten where I was going with this blog... I'm off to eat a healthy lunch.

OH the Cuteness!

Yesterday afternoon I got a little shutter-happy with the girls. They were both being so adorable.

After her nap, Tiegan and I were eating Fig Newtons and chatting about random things. I went to snap her picture, and she gasped, almost choking on her food - "NO, Mommy! Not yet, I have my mouth full."

*Gulp* - Okay, now you can take my picture.

She and Daddy left for Grandma's house shortly thereafter, at which time Sofia decided to be alert as ever.

She works so hard at picking her head up. She has been picking it up since birth, but is getting much better. I'm a little rusty with milestones, but I think for 2 weeks old this is pretty good! Oh, and that hair. I think we might have one straight-as-a-board blonde, and one wavy-headed brunette on our hands!

And I'm done overloading you with photos for the morning. I just couldn't resist!

The Weekend Chill

No, that's not clown makeup. That is the result of a red, white & blue Starkiss pop from Dairy Queen. One of my favorite sights of summer: my ice-cream covered kid.

We went for a long walk today. It was gorgeous when we left the house, and it stayed gorgeous right up until we thought we'd make our way to the school playground and then head to Burger King for lunch. Before we had a chance to do either of these things, we looked up and saw dark gray. Time to turn around and head home, we said.

Just after our pit stop at Dairy Queen, we got caught in a drizzle. Luckily that's not too far from home, so we just kept walking. Sofia was covered by the awning on the stroller, and the rest of us... well, a little water never hurt anybody.

By the time we got home, the sun was already back out. It was a great way to spend our afternoon together.

Now it's raining again (a bit harder this time), it's a little chillier out, the girls are sleeping, and Jason is playing video games. This has been a great day... although I wish there were a little more "Sun" involved this SUNday.

Tuckered out in the good way.

And I thought time flew faster with only one child.

Holy moly. Where have the days gone? Tiegan seems so big to me; it's hard to believe we are thinking about Preschools. She'll be starting dance classes again next month already. Sofia seems to be filling out more & more every day.

All we did today was pick up Tiegan from her grandma's, go to the bank, then go grocery shopping. On the way home from the store, we stopped and picked up some take-out. (Speaking of which, I feel extremely guilty having downed that chili cheese dog and fries. Must. Eat. Healthy.)

Now I'm finally settling down and I look at the clock, only to realize... it's almost 6pm?! Is it really time to start thinking about dinner already?

I guess when you think about all the in-between stuff you have to do with a 3 year old and newborn, it weighs out pretty evenly. Diaper changes & potty trips, feeding, pumping for bottles, washing milk- and marker-stained clothes, getting in & out of carseats...... I'm just not used to being so active through the entire day. It's nice, though. Really nice. I feel more useful and needed now than ever. Sometimes it's a little overwhelming. Having such an important purpose, though; that makes it worth the trouble. SO worth it.

Home Front

It's a very strange day here in Wonderland. Rain AND sun, at the same time? Not to mention... 60 degrees in the middle - nay, END - of July???

I can't speak for the girls, but I definitely have cabin fever. I literally haven't left the house in days. Sofia probably couldn't care less, but poor Tiegan is constantly asking if we can go out and play catch/feed the fish/feed the ducks/get our feet wet/go for a walk. Sorry, sweetness, looks like rain & storms for the next FOREVER. So, I promised we'd have a movie day today. If her attention span holds out.

Isn't winter long & tedious enough for trying to discover indoor activities? Did we have to tack on time during the summer, too? Especially for our first summer here at the LAKE? Sigh.

I will look on the bright side - at least this weather gives me time to get my body back in swimsuit condition. I am happy to report that every day, I wake up with a smaller tummy. It's a very gradual process. I can't wait until I can start exercising hardcore again. As of the other day, I have already lost 20 of the 40 pounds I gained during pregnancy. I still might have to buy all new jeans, though. My butt has informed me that it's not goin' anywhere. Thankfully, Jason is pretty thrilled about that.

Oh, and - it's official - I am going back to work August 3rd. I knew I needed to quit hemming and hawing and just make a decision already. I concluded that the longer I stay home, the less I'll want to go back to work. I'm giving myself one more week to mentally prepare. I am still a little squeamish about the fact that my dear baby will only be 3 weeks old when we start shipping her off, but at least she's not going to a daycare with a bunch of strangers. She will be with her sister and great-grandma every day. Thankfully I only work part-time and Jason has much better hours at his new job.

So, unlike before when we would let Tiegan stay the night a couple times a week at grandma's because Jason gets out at some ungodly hour and we're all exhausted... we will be able to drop the girls off in the morning, and pick them up after work (before dinnertime). Perfect! Now if we could only get that 2nd car we need...

One more random note before I leave you feeling like you completely wasted 10 (or however many) minutes reading this pointless blog:
My friends Jen & Brittney came over for a visit the other day, and Jen took some lovely photos of Miss Q-Bug (how that became her nickname, I'm not really sure - I just started calling her that one day). To see a preview, check out Jen's photography blog: jlynnimagery.blogspot.com. They're pretty darn awesome. :)

Hours to Seconds

It's so hard to believe my little one is nearly 2 weeks old. She's already showing signs of getting bigger - losing some of those newborn wrinkles, lifting her head on her own, and staying awake for longer periods. When I think about this being my last chance to experience that sweet newborn phase, I get sad that it's going to be over so quickly. But then I remember that we have so many new things to experience - we get to have all those "firsts" all over again! That part of having a baby is so much fun. It totally negates all the stress babies may add to your life, although I have to admit, I'm not nearly as frazzled this time around. Piece of cake. So far.

I am missing Tiegan like crazy. She spent the day at her grandma's yesterday (great-grandma's, really, because it's Jason's grandma) and I was expecting Jason to pick her up on his way home from work like we had planned. I called about 15 minutes out from when he usually gets home, to see what I should make for dinner & if T had eaten yet.

"Uh... actually..."

Turns out grandma took her to the Toledo zoo yesterday and he forgot to tell me, and they wouldn't be back til late. Maybe I'm crazy, but shouldn't a mother KNOW WHEN HER CHILD IS BEING TAKEN OUT OF STATE? Not to mention I'm pretty bummed that I wasn't asked permission first. I'm sure Jason probably gave them the OK, but I wish it would have been cleared with me. I was really wanting Tiegan's first trip to the zoo (first memorable one, at least -- we took her as a baby) to be with us. This isn't the first time my wishes haven't been honored, and I'm starting to feel like the steering wheel is slipping from my grip.

I'm trying to look at the bright side, because it's already happened and there's nothing I can do about it. At least she got to go, and at least she was able to have that fun memory with somebody, because we may not have been able to afford to go this summer. I just feel like we're missing out on all her fun moments. I'm glad that her grandma is willing to take her here and there, to festivals and shows and events... but I just hope she doesn't grow up thinking she never had any fun with Mom and Dad.

Back to the Real World

I have a question for all you working mothers out there.
How long after delivery did you return to work?

I'm thinking of returning after 2 weeks. The 2nd week is just beginning, so that would mean I'm actually considering (holy cow) going back to work next Monday. On one hand, we could really use that 2nd paycheck. Things have been really tight since I've been off work. Not to mention I stopped working 3 weeks before delivery!

But I just don't know if my heart can handle leaving both my children for 6-8 hours a day. Especially Sofia, who is still so tiny. I get sick at the thought of missing out on this short time in her life. Especially since I'm not affected by the Baby Blues this time around and am actually enjoying the newborn stage. I've had a huge burst of energy since Sofia was born, and I'm totally taking advantage of it by keeping the house straight and getting things done that I've been meaning to for months. And while I'm not busy being a Domestic Diva? I'm snuggling my little ladies. I. LOVE. Spending time with them.

I guess when it comes down to it, these memories and time spent with my kids are way more important than money. However, I would like to be able to shop for household staples without wringing our pockets dry. And our 2nd income really comes in handy when we want to go on memory-making trips... like to the zoo, or the ballpark. Both things we've been dying to do this summer that we just haven't been able to yet.

You can see how I'm really on the fence with this one. I keep arguing with myself in my head, and just when I think I have my mind made up... I change it.

Girls' Club

It's still a little strange (but fun!) to say "the girls." Last night, Jason and the 2 of them were snuggling on the couch and he called me in, saying, "Honey come look at your daughter." I was a little surprised to hear "which one?" coming out of my mouth. I have TWO daughters! How wonderful. I have a feeling we will form a strong alliance. Not to leave Jason out - he definitely has a great connection with each of them too. It also looks like they're forming their own little bond...

Tiegan was trying to hush Sofia because she obviously hates being changed. I set up her pack-n-play bassinet to be a diaper changing station for the living room - don't worry, she doesn't sleep with all that stuff around her! It's pretty convenient, actually, since the pack-n-play doesn't have one of those diaper changing areas.

My big girl just seems so much bigger now that there's a newborn around.

Miss Q's Lunch

Imagine my horror this afternoon when I pulled Sofia away from my left side to nurse on the right, and discovered BLOOD dripping down her chin.

Terrifying, bright vampire-red blood. You never want blood and your children in the same sentence (unless it is to say your child is NOT bleeding), or even the same thought sequence, let alone see your child with blood ON them.

After I gathered my wits I realized it was coming from me, not her. OK. Deep breath.

Thank goodness for computers & internet. I was able to research enough on my own to find that the blood will not do Sofia any harm, and it's perfectly fine for her to keep nursing, even if I am bleeding. That's the most important thing. Now what the heck is going on with ME? Apparently the problem is that she's not latching on quite right, which I had no idea because she was nursing so well anyway. Without going into great detail, I'll just say her mouth isn't open wide enough which causes pinching, which in turn has caused the pain & bleeding. At least it isn't mastitis. However, I am more susceptible to infection now.

Although it has proven to be way better for Sofia, nursing has become quite a struggle for me. It's now almost a full-time gig. 24 hours a day. I actually need to nurse more frequently (every hour or so), and apply moist heat & ointments in between. Who knew I'd ever fondle my own boobs so much?

My man, my boobs, and a jubilee

What lucky girls the 3 of us are to have this guy in our lives.

He's sensitive enough to understand our needs, but not effeminate. He's manly enough to get things done for us, but not disgusting. He's the perfect balance and, I think, is coping quite well with the trauma of living in a household swarming with estrogen. :)

Adventures in breastfeeding... whew.
When Sofia finally got the hang of it, and we got into a rhythm, it was wonderful. It's really powerful, actually, providing something so incredibly useful for your child that no one else can match. And then it started to hurt. And now it's excruciating. We're still working out the kinks... but I hope I'm able to continue. I know it's not supposed to be painful, so we've got to figure out what's going on.

This weekend we are going to attempt our first outing as a family of four, at the Hot Air Jubilee. Tiegan absolutely loved it last time we went, and I'm glad it's back this year. I know it's at the airport so there will probably be plane engines and whatever else going on - I just hope it's not too loud for Sofia. Now, to conquer the biggest obstacle of all: finding something to wear in this strange in-between phase!

Highs and Lows

I cannot tell you how much I love this baby. I wish I could. It seems such a tragedy that there just aren't the words to explain how intensely I love my girls, and my husband for that matter. We have grown into this perfect little family and things somehow keep getting better by the day.

I live for this. 4 years ago I never thought I'd be here, but here I am. And I don't want to imagine how I'd be living if I had made different choices. I don't think I'd ever have known true happiness. Looks like I made all the right decisions to get where I am today.

Deep sadness struck me for a moment this afternoon as I was taking photos of Sofia lying on her side, and she rolled onto her stomach - at 6 days old. She is so enjoyable right now. So small, soft, cuddly, and sweet. When she rolled, I came to the delayed realization that she won't be this tiny forever. Someday I will have to chase her all around the house and will have to scold for not getting along with her sister. It hit me like a brick and I think I was more sad than anything that I don't have a video camera - or at least a point&shoot digital camera that can take video clips. I will want to remember these fleeting days. This is my last child and although I never want to go through pregnancy & labor ever again (not to mention I feel our family is complete at 4), it's a bit of a letdown knowing I'll never have a baby this tiny again. The time passes so quickly, and I am actually in a state of mind where I can enjoy this newborn phase, unlike when Tiegan was born. I see flashes of myself waving goodbye to the girls as they go off to college.

Hello, hormones!

Finally... Momentum

Yesterday was my first day as Supermom, a.k.a. my first day at home, alone, with both girls all day.

I am happy to report it was much easier than anticipated. Tiegan is old enough that she requires minimal help with everyday tasks. Thankfully that left enough time for me to still be able to play and spend quality time with her while Sofia slept. I did feel like I had to remind her endlessly to hush or be careful around Sofia's swing & bassinet, but that's probably just newborn paranoia.

And while Sofia was awake, Tiegan was my little assistant. I didn't even ask; she is just helpful by nature. I am trying to make sure she doesn't feel obligated to help me take care of her sis, but it's nice that she's interested. At one point, I had T on the couch to get ready for a nap and was changing Sofie's diaper. Just as I was finishing, I heard a very disappointed little voice from behind me, "but Mommyyyy, I wanted to throw Sofie's diaper away!" (sad about being stuck on the couch). Hey, kid... whatever floats your boat.

Breastfeeding is going much, much better. I was very close to giving up, because it just seemed like more work than it needed to be. But with some persistence, and the help of my mom and sister, it's like 2nd nature to us both now. It takes a little more planning, and more of my time, but it's worth it.

Not much else to report. I'm actually getting much better sleep now than when I was pregnant. Everything is falling into place. Happy.

A love so strong

Things are starting to fall into place around here. Sofia is fitting in swimmingly. Of course there are some things that are completely out of whack - like, for instance: my center of gravity, everyone's sleep patterns, and my boobs.

I bottle-fed Tiegan right from the get go. I just had no interest in breastfeeding and wanted my body all to myself as soon as she was born. This time, I was feeling a little less uncomfortable with the idea and thought I'd give it a try. It's not going very well. I'm exhausted from trying, and poor Sofia is getting frustrated. It's only been 3 days, though, and I'm not giving up hope just yet. Thankfully my sister is a breastfeeding advocate, and is very well educated on the subject, so she's been a huge help.

I have a feeling that our daughters will be, for Jason & me, just like my sister & I were for our parents. That is to say - Tiegan and Jason resemble my sister & father, and Sofia and I resemble me with my mother. Um... does that make sense?

Tiegan and Jason are so much alike. She is really a Daddy's Girl when it comes down to it. They get along so well, and she usually goes to him first when she needs something, but they are also both extremely stubborn and can butt heads like crazy. Just like my sister & my dad. Sofia is my little snuggler. She & I bonded straight away. So far, I'm the only one that can calm her just by holding her close. My intuition says she will be a Mommy's girl, just like I am with my mom. I was always closer with my mom, and now that I'm an adult, we're practically best friends.

Can I just mention what a great husband & father Jason is? We have agreed to take turns tending to Sofia at night - last night was his night and he was wonderful. She was up every 10 minutes, refusing to sleep unless she was held. His patience was definitely tested, but he was still chipper and sweet as ever this morning. My post-delivery nurse in the hospital even commented on how great he was. She said she went home after her first shift with us, and told her husband about what a nice change of pace it was to see a father who was so involved. Poor guy is definitely outnumbered, but I can tell - his girls are his world.

Welcome, Sofia

As most of you already know from my tweets and Facebook, Sofia Quinn has finally arrived! I was induced at 7am on Friday, July 10, (at 41 weeks pregnant) and she came almost 13 hours later at 7:50pm. At birth, she weighed 7 lbs 8 oz. and was 18" long. Her size came as a huge surprise to us, being overdue and the ultrasound having predicted a whole pound heavier!

This labor was much different than when I had Tiegan, who was born just 7 short hours after I was induced. More on that another day, when I have time to write out a birth story.

Today was our first day home - we were discharged at noon. Tiegan is very interested in Sofia, and often asks to hold & help feed her. She's also content to play on her own while SQ is sleeping. So far it's been a good balance, but I'm sure we'll encounter obstacles. I'm confident we'll find our rhythm.

These past few days have been amazing for me. My recovery isn't nearly as painful as last time, although still pretty uncomfortable. Being able to simply walk has been such a blessing. I have been overcome by so many positive emotions these past 2 days, I'm just hoping it continues. We had amazing staff taking care of us the entire time (thank goodness).

Last night, SQ was resting her head on my shoulder when suddenly she looked up and rubbed her mouth & nose on my cheek. It sounds like such an insignificant thing, but it was so powerful to me. Like she knew I needed a little snuggling too. Maybe it's the hormones. I really feel like we have bonded incredibly.

Bittersweet Beginning

Today is a bittersweet day for me.

It is the day I kiss pregnancy goodbye. Jason and I have already decided we only want 2 children, so knowing that this is my last pregnancy - ever - is odd. I will admit it's a big relief, as I haven't exactly loved being pregnant. I did have my moments during each pregnancy, though, where I felt like I was glowing and was proud to show off my bump.

There is a certain point, though, where I started to dread the thought of going out in public. Hi, perfect stranger, I can see you staring. Yes, my belly is huge. No, I am not having twins. No, I will not stand here and make awkward conversation with you about the intimate details of my current physical situation. Thanks, though.

It is an absolutely gorgeous day. The water is calm, the sun is shining, there is a fresh, gentle breeze floating into my house through the sliding doors, and the blue sky is ever-so-lightly speckled with clouds. I can hear kids laughing and playing across the lake. Birds are chirping. Pontoon boats leisurely float by every few minutes, and there's the occasional jetski.

I've said it before - living here in the summer is like being on vacation. It's absolutely gorgeous. Unfortunately, I am so pregnant that I have a hard time moving my body - forget about hoisting myself in and out of the lounge chair on my lawn! Today is a day of reflection and respite, so I will just have to enjoy the gorgeous outdoors from my living room. It's still a pretty spectacular view.

Last night, I wrote a letter to Tiegan. It's the kind of letter that's written in the present tense, but really for her to read when she's older and understands. I told her that although she is getting a sister, my love for her will not be cut in half to make room. It can only multiply. I told her that even though I will love the both of them equally, Tiegan will always be the one that made me a Mother. I have really enjoyed these past 3 and a half years with her as our only child, and it has been surprisingly hard for me to say goodbye to that time. It's almost a mourning process. I'm lucky that we have such a bright future to look forward to, and that is helping me to march onward.

Yesterday Tiegan seemed to have hurt her arm. She was saying the inside of her elbow hurt and favored that arm most of the day. However, she was still able to reach out for candy, and still wanted to go swimming. A few hours later, after some special attention, she was fine. I know her poor little heart is feeling a touch of jealousy. I don't blame her.

T is at her grandmother's today, tonight, and tomorrow until the baby is born. I miss her terribly. I want to hold her tight and tell her that she will always be special to me. I want to spoil her and show her that I still, and always will, love her unconditionally. It will feel like everything is All About Baby for a while, but hopefully we can get into a trend where it will be easier to pay equal attention to both girls.

Time to get a few measly things done around the house, and then I'll be relaxing. Watch my tweets tomorrow, as I will probably be having J update for me.

Case of the Blahs

After going through and rearranging/organizing the bedrooms this morning, I have decided that the entire 2nd level of our house is too brown. And seriously needs style.

Our furniture is a mishmash of hand-me-downs, which I actually love the eclecticism of, but a lot of items need restoration. I wouldn't even mind painting a dresser or two in bright, eye-catching colors (like this kind of yellow). Just to be fun & quirky. My style is hard to explain. I really like offbeat things, and a mix of several genres. Like this, or this.

This is our bedroom... which, even after some hefty rearranging & organizing, still just looks like we threw some furniture in the corner of a room and called it good:

And this is Sofia's room, which also has the same feel...

I'm thinking we should ask the landlords if we can paint some walls. I'm really feeling uninspired!

We Have a Date!

Finally, we have a conclusion to this madness!

I had my ultrasound & doctor's appointment today. Ultrasound tech estimated baby's weight to be about 8.5 lbs currently. YIKES. If I haven't already mentioned it, Tiegan was 7 lbs, 10 oz. at 38 weeks when she was born. I realize the u/s is just an estimate - I'm thinking it was on the generous side and she's not really that big. (A mother can hope, right?)

What you're seeing in the image is a little hard to make out, I know (unless you're LeeAnn!). It's the best snapshot I could get - the image of her face was pretty distorted because the placenta was right in front of it. You can see her fingers, as it says - in a fist shape. Oh, and it's definitely a girl. We got a clear shot of that!

So. Despite the contractions, my doctor says it wouldn't do any good to induce right away since I'm only dilated to 1cm. He wanted to wait until this weekend, when he will be on call, and maybe my contractions will have made a little bit of headway by then (I doubt it, since they haven't for 2 weeks!).

Either way, I'm scheduled to be induced Friday, July 10. Seven whole days past my due date. I can't believe I've made it this far, but I don't doubt I will continue to make it to Friday.

Finally, I can relax a little bit. I know what day it's going to happen, and I can prepare a little bit. I now have that kick of motivation I needed to whip some things into shape around the house.

Tiegan was at her grandma's when Jason called to let them know what the plan was. He told Tiegan over the phone that Sofia was coming Friday. She said, "She IS?? GRAM!!!! My sister's coming FRIDAY!!!!" I can't wait to see the look on her face when she meets her little sis for the first time.

Top Ten Tuesday: The Little Things

How about a blog post that isn't whiny? Oh, goodie!!
I thought I'd do another Top Ten Tuesday - this time, a compilation of the little things in life that make me smile. They're the things that matter most anyway, right?

Feel free to join in with your own versions of Top Ten Tuesday on your blogs!

The Top Ten Little Things in Life that Make Me Smile

1. That first sip of coffee - (black, please) in the morning, in the evening with dessert, when I have a headache, or when I'm just a little bit chilly. It's always the perfect pick-me-up.
   
2. The glow from the evening sun - the sun rises on the lake-side of our house and sets out back. I love the golden hue that comes in my kitchen window, and shines on the front of the houses across the lake, in the evening. It's such a warm, relaxing tone.
3. When the breeze catches my hair just right - one of my favorite things to do is ride in the car with the windows down on a sunny day while J drives. What's worse than your hair flipping in the wind and sticking to your lip gloss? But when the breeze catches just right and brushes my hair away from my face... ahh, that's the life.
4. Being squeezed in the middle of the night - Sorry hubby, I'm going to completely embarrass you for this one. Sometimes when I roll over, or get out of bed for whatever reason, J (in his sleep) reaches out for me and whimpers until he's got his arms wrapped around me. Then he lets out a contented sigh. Love.
5. Watching Tiegan's wheels turn - I love to watch Tiegan play when she doesn't know I'm there. She scribbles in her 1st grade math/spelling books. She turns her toys all over to figure out how they work. She is just so hungry to learn how the world goes around, and I find myself beaming.
6. Breathing in a clean house - Take a deep breath. I smell... Lysol, Febreeze, a hint of bleach, and fresh air. There is nothing like enjoying my home after a good scrub-down.
7. The smell of a boat going by - I'm sure I've already proclaimed my love of toxic smells. Strange, I know. I love the scent that wafts in my sliding door when a boat goes by - a mixture of lake water, fresh air, and gas/oil mix from the boat's motor. It reminds me of my childhood days vacationing on Houghton Lake.
   
8. Seeing new places with wide eyes - This doesn't exactly sound "little," but what I'm getting at is that feeling that comes over me. When I visit someplace I've never been, I crave more. I marvel at the sights and want to immerse myself in this new world, taking in everything I can. It's a full-body rush.
9. When the timing works out just right - We've all had those days: you're bumbling over yourself just to make it there, only to find out you've forgotten something, and you've spilled coffee on your favorite shirt. Multiply it by 5 for each child involved. The heavens open and choruses sing when a whole day glides by from event to event without incident. There is that relieving moment of perfection when I make it from A to B in one piece, and I cherish each one of those moments.
   
10. Falling asleep outside - on a nice day, of course. Now that it's summer, living here is like being on vacation. Lounging on my chair outside and dozing off to the sound of water lightly splashing on the seawall... that's a little piece of "me-time" I'll never take for granted.

Where is my mind

This whole overdue thing is throwing me for a loop.

Typically, they say you deliver earlier with subsequent pregnancies. Tiegan was born at 38 weeks, and here I am, at 40w3d. This is unreal.

I haven't had a whole lot to complain about, physically, other than the day and night contractions (which I'm beginning to get used to). I have this sharp, stabbing pain low in my pelvis sometimes, but I'm pretty sure Sofia's just lying on a nerve somewhere because it only happens when I shift my weight.

My only real complaint is that I'm anxious to start this next phase of our lives. I've been ready for some time now - it would have been nice to deliver a couple weeks ago when I was still pumped and had plenty of energy. Not that I'm no longer excited, but back at 38 weeks I had this adrenaline rush thinking it could be any day now. That rush lasted a week or so, and has since worn off.

Now, I'm just tired. Excited, but tired and very curious as to how I'll fare during delivery. With Tiegan, I gave it all my might. This time, I'm a little nervous that I might turn out to be a bit wimpy - simply because I'm drained.

This overdue-ness has given me extra time to overthink the possibilities, too. Overthinking is never good, and turns people like me into absolute worry-warts.

For now, I'm just going to sit back, enjoy my time off while it lasts, and this beautiful weather that's going along with it. Wish me luck keeping my mind distracted!

Our 4th

We had a pretty fabulous 4th of July despite STILL being pregnant. I had no idea it was such a big to-do out here on the lake - these people take their Independence Day seriously! There was a boat parade, tons of BBQs and parties all around the lake, and later in the evening we hopped on the neighbor's pontoon with them to watch the fireworks.

The weather was a tad disappointing, but at least it didn't rain. It was just hazy all day. The bright kind of cloudy where you could use sunglasses but it still looks nasty out.

Tiegan made up "Happy Independence Day" songs to me. She loves singing to an audience.


Tiegan & Daddy watched the boat parade together - I caught a little bit of it, but was mostly inside making red, white & blue cake and cleaning the house for my parents' visit.


A little bit of the boat parade.



My parents & Tiegan - she told Boppy (my dad) she liked his "dress." HAHA!


I had a little too much fun playing with the frosting on my red, white & blue cake, and it turned out a little funny... but looked kind of cool on the inside...


And it was ohhhh so delicious. You can't see it, but there is also a layer of strawberry preserves in the middle. The coconut was a nice touch, too. The whole thing reminds me of superman ice cream.


Getting ready for the fireworks with her glow stick...


T had a fab time with Daddy on the neighbor's pontoon. I think this was her first-ever pontoon ride, and she told me that we definitely have to get one of our own. I agree.



Nothing like fireworks on the lake.

Don't get me wrong...

This was last night. Mom and Dad were over, we had just finished dinner at Andy's Pizza, and I was starting to have contractions every 4-7 minutes. My doctor informed me at my last appointment to go straight to Labor & Delivery if I was having them 5 minutes apart for a half hour - no matter what. Even if I thought I'd just be sent back home. I kind of had a feeling I would be (sent back home, that is), but we went anyway. Doctor's orders. My parents took Tiegan home with them for a sleepover, which I'm sure she was excited about. I ended up being monitored for about an hour, if that, and was sent home. Still dilated to 2cm, about 50% effaced - same as 2 weeks ago. Of course that's according to the same nurse that checked me last time - the one with very tiny, very arthritic hands. I have a feeling if someone else had checked, they might say different.

Oh well - I'm done being negative. I realize the last few posts have been kind of whiny, as if I'm going to be pregnant forever. It's to be expected I suppose. I've been contracting hardcore for 2 weeks and haven't seen any progress. The farthest apart my contractions have been is maybe an hour, if I'm lucky. In fact, they are more frequent at night. Bye bye, sleep! I consider it good practice for being up all night with a newborn. ;)

I'm actually very excited for this new phase in our lives. I can't wait to adjust to being a family of 4. I know it's going to be a lot of hard work. A lot of frustration. But soooo worth it.

I got to thinking about how difficult it was going to be for me - going from 3 1/2 years ago, never thinking I'd ever have children (and not really enjoying the company of other peoples' children)... to being a mother of 2. Once I finally got used to being a mother of 1, I thought that was it. I loved things the way they were and didn't really want them to change. Probably because life was just starting to get easier again.

But then, I imagined Tiegan growing up as an only child. Alone. I knew she'd probably have tons of friends, but our home just didn't seem complete. There is plenty of love between the 3 of us, but it seems like there could be so much more. I'm so excited to be giving her a playmate, a pal, someone to relate to. We are such a close family that I'm sure they will grow up loving and appreciating each other. I see future family get-togethers and holidays with 4 of us instead of 3, and everything just feels so much warmer and happier. More full. In a good way.

I'm done being impatient. I'm so full of happiness that anyone still reading this is probably nauseated by now.