Weird.

Yesterday was a weird day.

Just a warning: I'm going to be using that word a lot in this post.

About a half hour after I woke up, at 7:30, I started feeling jittery. I had some coffee & oatmeal. I started a hot shower. In the shower, my jitters were turning into full-on shakes and I was very short of breath. Thinking it was probably just the steam making me unable to breathe, I got out.

All during my rummaging around the bedroom finding something to wear (which I will share with you later... it's not pretty), makeup application, hair styling, etc. I was becoming increasingly delirious and fatigued from all the jitters. I just felt plain weird. I texted Jason and went back to bed. At 9am. Very unlike me.

Where was Tiegan during all this, you ask? Oh, she had spent the night at J's parents' house the night before. Yeah, she she usually spends a night at her grandparents' on the weekends. They live very close to us. Tiegan enjoys it and we appreciate the load off our shoulders. I don't want any guff.

So, there I was, back in bed. I was there for about 2 hours - also something very unusual for me on a beautiful Saturday morning. I was awake the whole time, but very detached from reality. Void of energy, I felt like my head was floating. My hands were visibly shaky at this point. I figured maybe I just needed to eat a little more. So, hot dogs being pretty much the only substantial food in our kitchen (Sunday is grocery day and we were wearing a little thin by this point), that's what I had. And an ice cream bar. And milk. And lots of water. And lots of ice to chew on. I was soooooo thirsty.

About a half hour after that, I felt worse. A little nauseated now, too, which was creeping back up from a weird bout of urpy-ness the night before that, until now, I hadn't thought anything of. Jason, via text, thought I might be anemic. So of course by this point my only logical course of action was to call Mom, RN. She thought I should get a hold of an on-call OB. So I did.

Dr. M called me back. I described my symptoms as best I could. For several hours I had been:

• Pale & shaky
• Nauseated
• Dizzy & disoriented
• Clumsy/unable to keep a good grip on anything & running into things
• Very short of breath
  
• Extremely thirsty
• Feeling "weird"
  

He said I probably picked up a virus somewhere, to which my answer was, "I've had cold-like symptoms for over a week now and this is entirely new." So then he said I might have low blood sugar and just need to eat, to which my answer was, "I've already had oatmeal, hot dogs, ice cream, milk and plenty of water today." He resorted to "just take it easy and it should go away within a few hours," without any further explanation.

What is with that?! I seem to have no luck finding a doctor that will actually give me the time of day.

So, take it easy I did. Uh... didn't.
By the time Jason got home from work around 1pm, I had been in bed for quite a while and my shakes were starting to diminish. We decided to go grocery shopping. I figured if I were to nail this thing on the head, I might as well monitor how I feel when going about normal activity instead of lying on my ass all day.

By the time we got back home, I was shaking all over again, feeling much worse (all the symptoms above, just exaggerated- and by this point I was rambling on about how weird I felt). And now on top of it all I was having cramps. BAD cramps that hurt deep in my lower back and left me clammy and even dizzier than before.

If my cramps had been closer together, I probably would have gone to the hospital like my mom had advised by this point. Jason was convinced I was in the early stages of labor. I was reminded of how I was shaking uncontrollably once I was induced last time. They had to hold me down to administer the epidural. But I just didn't feel like I was in labor yesterday. I argued with myself over this for quite a while. When I arrived at the hospital to be induced with Tiegan, they informed me that I was already in labor. I had no idea. I figured I would just know. And I didn't.

My maternal instincts were thrown for a loop here. Do I trust myself? I don't know.

I decided to take it easy and monitor the cramping. They were erratic, still, but very uncomfortable. They continued through the night, only every 45 minutes or so. Here I am, at 8am the following day, feeling a little more "with it" but still very weird and still having very erratic, but uncomfortable, cramping.

I think I should wait it out.

What would YOU do?

Let it Be

There is a part of me that is extremely anxious to start this new phase of our lives. I envision Jason, Tiegan, Sofia and myself as a perfect little foursome taking on the world. I see myself getting back into shape so that I have the energy to tackle anything that comes at me.

I cannot tell you how ready I am to be able to walk like a normal person again - let alone run, jump, play and wrestle with my girls; and snuggle up to my husband.

I just want to get on with it for several reasons -

• we have almost everything we need.
• work is incredibly slow right now and it would be convenient to take my leave before it picks up in july.
• I don't see how this belly of mine could get any bigger! Tiegan was born 1 week early and even at that point, she showed signs of being an overdue baby.
• I'm starting to get really moody and irritable, and I feel bad for poor Jason even though I'm trying so hard not to take it out on him.
• We can't wait to meet this little bombshell and see what she looks like, what her personality will be compared to her sister, etc.
• Since my sister just had her baby and I got to hold little Charlie for the first time the other day, I am sooo ready to cuddle a newborn.
  

And one of the biggest reasons... I'm extremely anxious to see where my emotions will take me as a mother this time.

With Tiegan, I wasn't ready for the whole experience. Not to say that I resented her or any of it, but I had pretty severe post-partum depression. I was a complete wreck and that ruined the joy of having a newborn. Taking care of a baby was more a daunting task for me than a warm instinct. Those first few months were very rough, and I feel like I couldn't experience it to the fullest.

Last night I laid in bed with Jason, looking over at the half-empty room beside me. I found myself picturing Sofia in her bassinet next to our bed, and I was actually looking forward to some midnight cuddles with this tiny little lady.

Then there's that other part of me that is begging for just another couple weeks to prepare. Mentally and physically. The house, and my mind & body.

But really - how ready can you ever be for a baby?

Recent Musical Obsessions

1. The voices (and faces!!) of Jim Sturgess and Evan Rachel Wood

(Thanks to the movie Across the Universe)


2. The song "Fern Dell" from Mandy Moore's new album, Amanda Leigh


3. Trying to find the complete new Crash Kings self-titled album on Soulseek. Oh hush, nobody buys CDs anymore. Am I going to get arrested for posting this? (They kind of remind me of The Format - is it the same singer and I'm just not clued in?)


4. Dreaming of singing in front of an audience once again. Maybe then I could actually get my husband to attend, hence appreciate, musical theatre and/or opera.

35 Weeks... and a storm

I had my 35-week OB appointment this morning. From here on out, I'll be going every week. Next week I get to have a pelvic exam. Oh, yippee!

Basically, as usual, he said everything is normal. My sore ligament has mended on its own (thank GOODNESS - that was painful). Blood pressure was normal, which surprised me because last night I noticed my ankles turned into blimps overnight. Jason says they feel like memory foam. Doc wasn't too concerned - he said as long as my face (along with the rest of me) isn't puffy all of a sudden, it's pretty typical for ankles to swell especially in the heat. I've only gained 1 lb in the past 2 weeks, bringing me up to a whopping 131 pounds. I can live with that. That's 31 lbs. total this whole pregnancy so far. Better than the 60 I gained last time.

I did express the amount of discomfort I've been in, and he attributed it to my body being pretty beat up from the 1st pregnancy and delivery. Weaker muscles, weaker ligaments, my uterus is lower... lots of pressure... yadda yadda yadda. I climb a fair amount of steps at work, and he just advised me to take it easy.

The biggest surprise of the whole appointment - Snarky Nurse was nice! She even smiled at me.

I left work a couple hours early this afternoon because I was having cramps every 5-10 minutes. Oh, here comes one now.........

.... ... .................

I've been having braxton hicks for several weeks now - sometimes regular, sometimes not. They usually go away if I'm lying down but lately they've been increasing in discomfort & don't go away no matter what I do. They're still not timing out regularly enough to merit a trip to Labor & Delivery though.

So, that's that I guess. Toughing it out!

We had a pretty cool storm last night. Storms here at the lake are fun to watch.

First it was all greenish outside.


Tiegan was at Grandma's, so we watched The Dark Knight on Blu-Ray while waiting for the rain to roll in. A very cool movie to watch during a storm, especially with our brand new [free!] surround sound.


There was the coolest glow on all the houses across the lake, even as it rained, and the sky was almost black behind them.


I just love storms. I think they're exciting. I feel guilty for this because I know storms damage homes and ruin lives. But gee golly, ever since I was obsessed with Twister way back in the day, I just get that little jump of excitement every time I see a "warning" signal or hear that annoying BEEEEEEEEEP on the radio.

T3: Embarrassing iTunes Songs

I thought I would give "Top Ten Tuesdays" a whirl. Let's see how long it lasts. We'll begin this week with my top ten embarrassing iTunes songs that I just can't help but love!

1. Ashlee Simpson - "No Time for Tears" - Usually, her squeaky fake-punk voice just really gets on my nerves. But there is just something about this that just makes me start tapping my foot.
2. Barenaked Ladies - "Eraser" - This is on the Snacktime album for kids. Funny thing is, I think I enjoy it more than Tiegan does.
3. John Travolta & Olivia Newton John - "You're The One that I Want" (Grease) - Just a cute, fun song to sing & dance to... The only requirement is that you have to be using a hairbrush as a pretend microphone. I have to admit, I dream of playing Sandy in a live version of this someday! How fun.
   
4. Kristin Chenoweth - "The Girl in 14G" - I just think Kristin Chenoweth is adorable. And who knew she had such a huge pair of... uh... lungs?
5. Rhianna - "Disturbia" - This started out as a song I endlessly ridiculed Jason for being obsessed with last summer. Tiegan grew to like it, and I think the only reason I enjoy it so much is because I think it's hilarious when she asks me to play her song, going on to sing all the wrong words because she can't understand any of it.
6. Rush - "Limelight" - Shut up.
7. Spoon - "The Way We Get By" - Embarrassing to like because I totally don't live the lifestyle they're portraying in this song. I think it's more the musical side of the song that I like, rather than the lyrics.
8. Sound of Music - "I am 16 Going on 17" - I am totally starting to look like a musical theatre geek right about now! I have no excuse, other than I grew up doing musicals with my family.
9. Simon & Garfunkel - "The Only Living Boy in New York" - I don't think I should be embarrassed to like this song whatsoever. It's an amazing song. But for some reason, I just get the weirdest looks from people when I tell them I like S&G.
10. Mandy Moore - "Gardenia" - I'm not usually a pop music fan. However, I honestly thing Mandy Moore has real talent hidden under there. She did marry Ryan Adams, after all. Besides - she turned into a girl-crush of mine when I saw "Because I Said So" for the 1st time.
    

Thin

Right now there is a strange balance of things in my life to be disappointed about, and things to be grateful/excited for.

After thinking long & hard about it last night, and some feverishly handwritten journaling, I'm pretty sure the good things outweigh the negative. The smile remains on my face through it all and that warm fuzzy feeling is still there when I go to bed, so it can't be that bad.

Our Memorial Day weekend was stellar. My birthday was Saturday (24!) and I got to relax and spend the day with Tiegan and Jason at home. The washer/dryer were FINALLY in working condition on that day, so we did laundry like mad people and even though that doesn't sound like something you want to do on your birthday, believe me, it was most enjoyable.

Sunday we spent the majority of the day out of the house. We did some previously mentioned shopping, visited my parents' for a small belated birthday gathering, and did some more shopping. Yesterday - Memorial Day - Jason & I both had the day off. Since my parents couldn't come over for our impromptu cookout Sunday evening, they came over yesterday for some burgers & other various grub and conversation. They kept remarking that visiting us feels like they are on vacation, but they had to remember that we actually live there. Every time they visit, they leave saying they need to buy a house on the lake. No time like the present!

For more of our weekend photos, visit my Flickr site.

Tiegan hasn't been napping for about a month now. Once in a while we'll get lucky and she'll have had SUCH an active morning that she'll conk at about 1:30 for a half hour or 45 minutes (usually in the car), but for the most part, she's up from 6:30am to 10pm. This girl just never wants to sleep. Even at night, she wakes up a couple times for silly things, like having dropped a stuffed animal on the floor or wanting a drink. After a full day w/ no nap, she is delirious and acting loopy by 7pm. When she is that overtired, it's impossible to talk to her or get her to do anything. It's not that she's grumpy (although she can be), she just acts... strange. Funny faces, weird noises, flopping around... I mean the out-of-body kind of tired where you're running on E and don't even know who you are anymore. It's also impossible to reason with her or get her to do anything right, even if she knows better. That's our house between 7pm and 10pm. A mother's patience can wear very thin with this kind of sleeplessness!

I wonder what it will be like after Sofia's born. I already don't sleep, like, at all. So I should be pretty well set for the night wakings. I might even be better off, when I can comfortably curl up or lie on my stomach once again. :)

I'm so glad the sun peeked out today. I needed it.

Shelf Belly.

A few friends and I were remarking the other day on all the weird, inappropriate things people say to you when you're pregnant. Like they can't help it - the words just spew out.

Lately, I've been getting comments full of surprise at how long I have left to go, and how HUGE my baby is going to be.

Thanks to those people. I appreciate hearing that I look like a behemoth from the ribs down, and that you are imagining how there will be nothing left of me by the time labor & delivery is over with.

At first I was greatly annoyed at these comments... and then I saw this picture that my mom took of me today (I was 34 weeks as of last Friday & it's now Monday):


HOLY Shelf-Belly!
At least I haven't completely blimped out like I did when I was pregnant with Tiegan. Everything from my face to my feet got... well, fat.

When I tell people that Tiegan was 7 lbs. 10 oz, I say it with a teensy bit of self-sympathy. People don't realize this. While that's a pretty average newborn size, I am not an average sized adult. I feel like my belly is as big now as it was when I was getting ready to go into the hospital with Tiegan. The rest of my body has, thankfully, stayed pretty normal, which is why my midsection looks so disproportionate by comparison.

But seriously... is this baby going to get BIGGER!? Is that even possible?!!

In other news, we had a great memorial day. More on that tomorrow, or maybe even the day after that, as I am completely exhausted from the day's activities.

Pure Summer.

What a great past couple days this has been. I'm looking forward to yet another - the end of the stint - tomorrow.

We started out this morning by deciding to get out of the house early. Before noon is early for us, on a Sunday. I had told Jason about this bistro set for sale at Art Van for $67. I've been kind of hankerin' for a bistro set for the front porch. Somewhere to sit and have my morning coffee... enjoy the sunsets... or maybe have at-home date nights with the hubby for dinner. Other than my lounger, we really have nowhere to sit and relax outside.

So, as a little bit of a surprise (we often hop in the car for fun and let Jason decide the route), he headed to Art Van to check it out. We sat in it, kinda liked it, and decided to buy it.

We were told that we could come back and pick it up in about a half hour, as the store wasn't even fully open yet. So we did some other shopping and came back. Upon our return, we were told they made a mistake and didn't have any in stock. We'd have to wait until Wednesday. The whole reason we decided to buy this set on a whim was because we thought it'd be nice to have for the long weekend. Today and tomorrow were going to be gorgeous and we wanted it now. If we were going to have to wait anyway, we may have saved up for something a little nicer.

So, we said OK and left. Frustrated. We had cake & ice cream at my parents' house for my birthday, which was yesterday. Mom made a 4 (or 5?) layer black & white cake which was awesome, and they had a couple really nice gifts for me. After our visit there, we decided to go shopping around to see if we could find any other bistro sets we liked elsewhere. If we did, we'd get a refund from Art Van. After unsuccessful trips to Big Lots and Lowe's, I seemed to recall some outdoor chairs being 50% off at JoAnn. So we took a trip there, and look what we found:



The table and chairs don't match perfectly, but altogether they cost the same as the bistro set from Art Van and the chairs are WAY more comfortable & sturdy. And YES - everything was 50% off!

We just *had* to pick up one of these, to complete the perfect weekend:


Grilling out and having dinner outside was the best. Jason made amazing kabobs, grilled corn & I put together a mean salad. ;)

Tomorrow, we're having my parents over, Jason's grilling ranch burgers, and I'm baking potatoes in a way which I bet you've never seen before - I promise to share photos & results.

Lots of boats have gone by today. I can't describe the smell that wafts through my living room every time one does. It is pure summer - gasoline, lake water and fresh air. I love it.

What would YOU do?

I hate to be one of those people, but is this what it takes?

Readers: I have a scenario for you.
You pay a pretty penny to have what you feel is a little piece of heaven - 3 bedrooms and a lake in your front yard. You even have your own private dock, too. The water is literally 20 feet from your front porch. You like to take advantage of this when you are home & not doing chores, which is rare.

One day, you notice a 12 or 13 year old boy from across the street fishing from your dock. You don't mind. You like to share, and you like the feeling it gives you that you're able to let this boy experience something that he probably can't, not having access like this from his home.

However, you come home from work the next day. He's there. That weekend, you're in your strapless swimsuit cover-up and are getting ready to sunbathe for a while, but he's there again. The next day, you're pulling in your driveway on a gorgeous afternoon following a mentally exhausting day at work, and the thing you're looking most forward to is to relax on the dock with a good book and swish your feet in the water. As you pull in, you notice the boy and a friend looking back to catch a glimpse of your car, and they book it through your yard towards the lake as if you can't see them.

Being a nice person, you don't want to shoo the kid away. But he starts bringing friends. Today he brought someone (older brother?) and a very young child who has been obnoxiously yelling and whining for 2 hours. You feel like enough is enough, and are tempted to put a "NO Trespassing" sign up after they leave, or rope off the dock.

You begin to realize that you wouldn't mind at all, if they had just knocked on the door and asked permission. But they didn't. They don't even have the courtesy to come over only when you're not home. Your patience and generosity are wearing dangerously thin.

What do YOU do?

Almost!

The washer/dryer saga is almost at an end, and I should finally be able to use them soon! The anticipation is killing me. I am almost 100% OUT of clean clothes. I thought we'd have this done a week ago, so I haven't been doing any laundry @ mom & dad's.

Our landlord should be coming over sometime today to turn on the gas line, and to make sure the drain hose for the washer is hanging in the appropriate place over the sump pump. Maybe they'll even let us borrow their wet vac to suck up some of the puddles down there, since they still haven't gotten us that dehumidifier they've been promising. I'm tempted to go buy a crappy mop just to use in the basement. I have half a mind to pour a whole bottle of lysol on the floor and just scrub the living daylights out of it... and then sop all the wetness up with towels. At least it'll smell better down there. But that's probably just my nesting instinct kicking in.

I'm kind of wondering if a certain somebody even remembers it's my birthday... ;)

34 Weeks Today.

I had a little bit of a much-needed meltdown today.

Ever since last night, I have had this constant, growing, deep ache in my lower back. You know, the menstrual-feeling kind that NO amount of massage or painkillers will help. Today, at work, I was trying really hard to keep my cool through several intense contractions. I didn't want to freak anyone out.

They continued when I got home, and are still happening - although erratic. They range from 5 minutes to 45 minutes apart. No matter the amount of time between, though, each one is equally as intense as the last.

When I got home, the first thing I did was tearfully call Jason. I just needed to let it out a little bit. He is so sweet and supportive. I think I've been pretty strong and have held it together really well throughout this whole pregnancy- I deserved to break down just a little. Especially since my amazing sister just had her baby, who is still in the NICU at U of M. I've been pretty uncomfortable the past couple weeks but have kept it mostly to myself, for fear of making it seem like I was trying to battle it out for our parents' attention. (A running theme since our teenage years).

I asked if I could pick up Tiegan from Judy's a little late, as I needed to regain my composure and put my feet up for a little while to see if the contractions & pain would lessen. They didn't, but I was finally able to dry my tears and recharge my batteries a little bit.

And on to live another day...

I'm planting a money tree seed.

He's back in the basement, banging around and curses are flying everywhere.

Did I not tell you I have a wet basement? Yeah... apparently it's coming up from underneath. Lovely. See the bottom of the wall? I'm pretty sure that's all mold. Eeeeew.

Installing a washer & dryer should not be this hard. And I should not have to jump to dry spots to get to my laundry. Hmph.

I had a dream last night that we bought this house. And it turned out to be a huuuge mistake. Like a Money Pit kind of thing. I'm usually pretty in tune to these things, so I'm just going to take it as a sign. We'll stay for a while... but... I'm still not sold on the whole ownership thing.

Considering buying a new Mac. We can't really afford it, and don't want to apply for any credit cards right now (I know Apple has this whole Juniper Visa thing). But I absolutely refuse to buy another PC. The iBook is in Mac Heaven, I'm sad to report. Just the other day, I opened it and the backlighting suddenly went out. It would be pointless to try getting fixed. Just as my Apple is in Mac Heaven, my HP Desktop is dangerously close to PC Hell. I know I've been saying this for ages now, but I'm going to need a replacement, like, ASAP. I've been drooling over the new 24" iMacs, but my heart is set on a 17" MacBook which is on the pricier end of things. We'll see. I'll have to save up for a little while, and book a couple weddings this summer. The only thing is... I'm going to need something to process those wedding photos on. And there's no way in bleeping hell I can process them on the PC I have now. I mean... it's not even a "getting by with what I've got" kind of situation anymore. Quite a pickle.

ENOUGH COMPLAINING!

I've actually been in a great mood today, despite what you may be thinking by now (if you're even still reading this after all the negativity with which I've polluted your aura).

Thinkin' about you, not me

They're heeeeeere!

Jason will be hooking them up today (he just dropped them off yesterday). I have sooo much laundry to do. Depending on if he runs into any problems or not, I may be spending the entire evening after work doing laundry in the basement. I can't wait to hear the hum of the dryer from the comfort of my own living room, with the smell of fabric softener seeping through the house...

Only thing is... I think we might have a mold problem in the basement. If that's the case, we shouldn't be spending too much time down there. Just another thing to think about on our already busy minds.

I hate to be a whiner, but these past couple weeks I've been extremely uncomfortable and barely able to walk. It's hard to describe... I have a conglomeration of strange, constant pains way down low in my pelvis that, combined, make being on my feet in general absolutely miserable. I'm mostly bummed that I can't enjoy this beautiful weather to its fullest now that it's finally starting to warm up outside. I'm also frustrated that I can't get the exercise I'd like, and therefore I can't really stay in shape.

I have another appointment on the 28th but I have a feeling I'll want to be seen again before that. The sad part is, I almost don't want to waste my time because I know I'll just be blown off as usual. My sister decided to deliver her baby at UofM at the last minute, after seeing the same doc as mine for her entire pregnancy. She was so happy with her decision, and my mom (an RN) keeps ranting and raving about how well they take care of their patients there. They seem to be pretty thorough in making their diagnoses with tests and exams, rather than just going on spoken word. Also, when a woman is in active labor, she is her nurse's ONLY patient, unlike at our hospital where nurses have several patients at once (last I knew). I'm contemplating a switch up to the U myself, but I just hate to inconvenience everyone for my sake.

33 Weeks.

These Braxton Hicks are kicking my butt today. So much that I thought I better start a hospital packing list, just in case. I plan to go shopping for mini-toiletries tomorrow after work. Mom says I've dropped, but the truth is, I don't even think Sofia was ever really "up." I've been carrying extremely low this whole time.

Ohhh, what a weekend.

Saturday started out as a nice, relaxing day for me. Tiegan was with Grandma Judy getting ready for her dance recital and I had the morning to myself while Jason was at work. Mom picked me up around Noon to do some shopping and running around. Jason met us at Mom's house after work (poor guy has been running himself ragged with work... I miss his smiling face and it breaks my heart to see him so tired/miserable all the time). The 3 of us went to Tiegan's recital. I cried... Jason teared up a bit... HE actually grabbed MY hand, to my surprise. Such a softie. But shh-I wasn't supposed to tell.

[Don't mind my watermark on the photos - I'm hoping people will ask about ordering CDs next year. She's the tiniest one with her back to the camera in the 1st one.]

Those pink/yellow costumes are from her ballet class. The following are from her tumbling class, which was a riot. She started 1/2way through the year, and even though she was being tutored an extra day every week, she's still the smallest girl in the class and was a little behind. She was the last one to do each move, but she was trying SO hard. The whole auditorium @ Western, which was full, was laughing and "awwww"-ing and cheering her on and roaring for her and she was just loving it. And of course I'm like... yeah, that's my baby!!!

It's a little odd because some of the kids in her class are so much older and way better at doing these moves, so it's kind of unfair to expect them to synch all the time. I think her age group is 3-5 so she's right at the bottom. But she really looks up to and emulates the bigger girls... it's not so much a competition. So I guess it's not all bad.

So anyway, a zillion photos, hugs and tears of joy later, Tiegan went to spend the night with grandma Sheli (Jason's mom) and J and I headed to take my mom home. In the car, she got a voicemail from my Dad, who was with my sister and her new baby at the UofM NICU. Yes... it has been a long and interesting week that I have not nearly covered well enough here at this blog. Oh well.

I still don't know all the particulars, but there was some problem - her baby had lost 12% of his birth weight (they become concerned at 10%) and was more lethargic by the hour. He was only 5 lbs. 4 oz. at birth, so you can imagine how TINY he was at this point. They were about to do a spinal tap, and that's all I know. We took Jason home to rest and I drove Mom up to the U. It was after 9pm by this time. We stayed a couple hours and I was home sometime after 2am. By this morning, baby Charlie was doing much better after some time on IV fluids. They plan to keep him a couple more days for monitoring, but he should be OK to go back home after that. Phew!!

Jason, Tiegan and I went out to breakfast this morning and did some shopping, and in the afternoon I went to JCC to take photos at my sister's capping and pinning ceremony for having graduated the LPN program.

Oh yeah - I didn't mention this either - she had her baby at UofM Tuesday night, and came back to town Wednesday night to attend the JCC graduation ceremony. Strong woman.

Jason, Tiegan and I did even MORE shopping after I got home from the ceremony. We now have a pack-n-play that we acquired from Target for $46... and it's even cute - not tacky-looking like most of the cheap ones are. We also have all the pieces/parts we need to successfully hook up the washer/dryer after they're delivered tomorrow. Jason is delivering them himself, since they're from his work, and then installing them himself after work. After a 12 hour work day. Man he is one busy dude.

I am rambling and delirious. Time for bed. From the time I started this entry to the time I finished, I have had 3 Braxton Hicks. YUCK.

Sofia could technically be born without complications at this point, maybe with some time in the NICU depending on her development. But we're just not ready... I'm just not ready. I want her to be full term and healthy, and I want to be mentally prepared - which I'm totally not yet.

We'll get there.
Cross your fingers.

Happy Girl

I'm dancing with joy over here!
Er... in my imagination, at least.

So, one of my favorite things to do (no joke) is laundry. I may have already made that point oh, about 10 times at this particular blogging outlet. However, we have been suffering through having to carry huge, overflowing baskets of clothes/towels to my mom's house every weekend. It has been consuming my whole weekends, which is very frustrating when it's the only leisure time I have to spend with Jason & Tiegan.

When I finally got a job (which has been going wonderfully I might add), we decided to start saving for a washer and dryer of our own. But first, Jason asked the landlords if it was even possible to hook them up downstairs, as we weren't sure if the hookups were in working order.

To our surprise, when we asked them this, they said to get them some quotes on Jason's employee pricing and they would go ahead and buy the washer/dryer set and install them for us. They would stay with the house if we were to leave, of course, but they said they like us and want us to stick around for a while. Um, YAY!


These will be up & running Monday. Can you just SEE the excitement in my sparkling eyes!?!??!

I never appreciated what a huge convenience having the ability to do my laundry at HOME has been, since I've never been without that convenience until I moved here. It's the bees knees. I can bring new clothes home and wash them straight away. If we have a bad spill and something's about to stain, I can just throw it right in the washer without having to let it soak in the sink or shower until laundry day. And best of all... no more tedious hand-washing in the kitchen sink when we can't make it to mom & dad's!

Now that I've written an ENTIRE blog about laundry, I think my life is complete.

Oh wait... no... I must meet this little angel of mine that keeps shoving her foot up into my right lung. She must really love me. :)

It's Happening.

Our shopping spree this evening consisted of the following things:

(we actually got Meijer brand. Same ingredients as Johnson&Johnson, $3 less.)

And now commences the realization that OMG WE'RE GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY.

Slow Down.

Just a little background before I go on my venting spree for the day:

I haven't had a regular visit w/ my OB (Dr. F) since February. I know, I KNOW... how awful. But I've been waiting for my Medicaid to become active and it still hasn't. Their office is ridiculously backed up, apparently. While I was feeling energetic and healthy the past couple months, I didn't really want to rack up the medical bills for doctor visits unless I felt there was something wrong.

After having increasing excruciating pain since Sunday after the mini-fridge incident, I decided to bite the bullet and schedule a 32-week checkup.

Here's how my appointment went.

1. I park way out in the boonies and limp up to the door, completely out of breath. The person before me lets it slam in my face.
   
2. Enter office; sign in. Limp back to chair and utter sigh of relief.
3. I get called up to the front desk. Get scolded for not having active Medicaid yet. Explain the situation. Receive backwards instructions for what papers to file that I've already filed. Limp back to seat.
4. Get called back to doctor's office. Get weighed (131.. not bad), have blood pressure taken.
5. I ask what my blood pressure was. Snarky nurse answers, "Normal."
6. I'm told to give a urine sample from the same snarky nurse who has a tone that makes it feel like I'm being drug-screened.
7. Snarky Nurse escorts me (we'll use that term lightly) into the office. I ask if I need a robe, the answer is simply no. (Let's note at this point that I haven't been asked why it's been so long since I've had a regular pregnancy checkup.)
8. Dr. F enters office directly behind me, making a joke about how he's ahead of schedule but his staff is behind. I climb, wincing, onto the exam table and sit.
9. He checks over my chart, reiterates from last time that when I had my ultrasound the due date was approximated at July 13, even though my cycle calendar says July 3. He says we'll just estimate the baby will come sometime between those dates. I already know this.
   
10. Dr. F measures my belly, and listens to baby's heartbeat (130bpm). Caught up in the bliss of hearing the heartbeat and the SWOOSH-swooshing from her kicking, I forget to ask what the measurement says.
11. Dr. F sits me back up and asks if I have any questions. Ah, finally.
12. I explain what happened Sunday with the mini-fridge and that I've been in an enormous amount of searing pain ever since, especially when I'm standing/walking and even more on stairs, or when I move from a reclining to standing position.
13. Dr. F asks me to point to where it hurts (aww, do I get a lollipop too? Perhaps a band-aid for my booboo?).
14. When I begin to show him, and describe the pain, he interrupts me.
15. "Yep, that's round ligament pain. You've probably stretched a ligament. Just take it slow and you'll be fine in a few weeks."
16. I try to explain that I understand what round ligament pain is, and this seems different. This is stabbing, searing, blinding pain that brings tears to my eyes and nauseates me when aggravated, and no matter how slow I take it, I'm in the same amount of pain, always.
17. "Nope, I'm pretty sure that's just your ligaments screaming. Your uterus is growing. Blah blah blah, I'll just repeat everything you already know. Here's your paperwork, have a nice day."
18. I attempt to take the approach of explaining that a couple of my friends have had this exact description of pain when pregnant in the 3rd trimester, and it turned out to be a detached muscle. Did he even want to bother checking me out, like, at all?
19. I'm interrupted and practically shoved out the office, repetitively being told that I'm fine and everything is normal.

Why don't they roll their eyes and tell me I'm overreacting while they're at it? Do these people even CARE about what they do, or am I just a dollar sign to them?

Hope for Tomorrow.

You might find me slightly irritable today.

Work was great, as usual. But on my way home, things just started falling apart. Nothing Earth-shattering of course, but you know how we hormone-infested women blow everything out of proportion.

• Tiegan is sick. So far it's just the sniffles. She's staying overnight at her grandmother's house and I miss her.
• My pulled groin/whatever flared back up today after several times getting in & out of the car. It's extremely frustrating not being able to do normal things.
• I'm pretty sure Sofia's dropped. It doesn't feel so great.
  
• The one and only pair of pants that fit me, coincidentally, are insanely itchy around the waistline.
• I tried calling Jason on his cell to inform him that his daughter was staying the night @ his grandma's house. I couldn't get through because his service had been shut off. But I know his bill was paid. He called me later from his office and the mystery was solved - his friend, with whom he shares a plan, had used up ALL their minutes. All nine hundred of them. In the world of cell phone plan-sharing etiquette, this is a huge no-no. Especially when you're sharing minutes with someone who has a family and a pregnant wife who's getting close to her due date. I guess that's what Jason gets for being nice and helping a friend when he needed a cell phone by letting him share his plan.

That last one was my biggest annoyance of the day. This kind of stuff continually happens with this person. He's been a friend of J's for a looong time, and he's always been nice to me, so I keep my mouth shut. But lately it's just been one huge screw-over after another.

Today isn't all gloom and doom, though.

I just found out that our landlords are going to buy a washer and dryer for the house. Also, they're getting a dehumidifier for the basement. They said they like us and want us to stick around for a while... and also that they can sympathize with having to haul laundry elsewhere, especially with kids. They are pretty cool landlords.

I just realized it's time to pick up Jason from work. And it's still light out. Tomorrow's supposed to be a gorgeous day. It's his day off and I only work noon-5. Hoorah!

Mother's Day & that Pesky Belly Photo

I had a pretty good Mother's Day Weekend... how about everyone else?

S'pose I consider yesterday more my Mother's Day than today was. Yesterday we got a bunch of stuff done in Sofia's room, Tiegan was sweet and affectionate towards everyone, and it was overall just a lovely day of running around and having fun together as a family.

Today, not so much.

This morning I pulled something in my groin/lower abdomen by trying to push a mini fridge into place with my foot. I've been limping all day. Tiegan got up just a little too early for her own good (and had a too-short nap to boot), and hasn't had her listening ears on. Subsequently, Jason has not been in a very hospitable/understanding/loving mood. But God love him, he's been doing his best. Complying with my little requests such as "can you help me off the couch?" and "can I have a refill?" is really all I've wanted, and he's been completing those tasks with flying colors.

I did do the dishes on my own accord this evening, after J fell asleep on the couch with a headache. I really can't complain all that much. My pulled groin (or whatever the #$&^!@ it is) is starting to feel a little better, as long as I don't put weight down on my whole right foot when I walk.

What's with Tiegan showing off the band-aid in the photo?
Oh yeah, she bit the dust yesterday while walking to the car. Our sidewalk leading to the driveway is in pretty bad shape, and she tripped on one of the cracks. She went down hard and cried for a minute. Immediately started bleeding. J was trying to lighten the mood by laughing playfully and putting her in the car anyway, and I got all hormonal and hysterical. "DON'T laugh at her! Give her to me! We have to clean it up! Back up! Let me look at it! Stop laughing!" I had a few tears of my own. It just breaks my heart when my baby gets hurt.

I probably overreacted.

So... how about that belly picture?

Mom took this the Friday before last, when I was 31 weeks. This next one is at 32 weeks, and it's of me and my sister, who is 4 weeks ahead of me. Sorry for the goofy faces... we felt a little silly with our shirts up waiting for Mom to figure out her camera. ;)



Am I the only one out there that has to shove a camera at someone else and say "here... take my picture"?!?!

Monster Update & Sofia's Room

It's been almost a week since I've blogged? Seriously? I have no excuse. Well, here comes a monster.

Aside from pregnancy slowing me waaayyy down lately, this week/weekend has been pretty great. The past few days I've been feeling increasingly winded, sore, and just plain run down. I start my days with enthusiasm (after enough coffee, of course), but I'm practically limping before 3pm. Perhaps a sign that I'm pushing myself too hard.

Overall, I think I've been doing really well throughout this entire pregnancy. I get my daily exercise, and have been [moderately] watching what I eat with only the occasional indulgence (*ahem*... Rudy's). I'm trying sooo hard to stay in shape, so I have as smooth a transition as possible through labor & recovery... and subsequent weight loss resulting in remarks like, "I can't believe you just had a baby!" However, I seem to get mixed reviews- as to how I look, at least. Mom keeps asking me, "are you SURE you're not due until July?" (hinting at how BIG I am). I've heard this from a couple others, too. Some people comment on how tiny I am for being 32 weeks (YES... 32 weeks!) along. It doesn't help that I feel like a cow compared to Super-Preggo Heather Armstrong, whose blog I recently started following.

With my first paycheck (yay!) we have been given a glimpse into the world of double-income once again... and it is good. This time around, we are being frugal and smart. We went to several stores today and yesterday with the intention of really stocking up on stuff we have been wanting for a long time, but haven't been able to afford. Especially things for Sofia. I'm really proud of how we've held ourselves back from going on a crazy spending spree.

Here's a look at Sofia's room as of this afternoon, finally with all the crap cleared out.

We got the bassinet from someone on Craigslist for $20. I like it because it's cute, but still neutral (not themed) and not too frilly. Can you see the mini-fridge next to the changing table? Who's a smart mama? THIS CHICK. We plan to keep a couple prepared bottles in the mini-fridge, and hope to get a bottle warmer too. So we don't have to be making midnight trips downstairs for feedings. I'd like to get a rocker for the corner (next to the changing table- I am contemplating on getting this one from Walmart's website), but this whole layout could change.

The papasan and swing are thanks to MacKenzie. The swing won't stay in the room, I'm sure... it will probably end up in the living room, but I stuck it up here so it's out of the way for the next few weeks at least. ;)

I finally got around to stripping the wallpaper-like stuff off the shelves of the changing table. Now to find some suitable fabric to adhere. Since we can't paint, I'm looking for blue/green accessories like the wall decals here. Wanna know where I found them? The dollar store @ Jackson Crossing. Yup. Also found those cute green buckets there. Literally $1 each.

What's with the bag on the top shelf, you ask? I collected & saved all the gift bags from my baby shower(s) with Tiegan. I thought I could do something cool with them someday, either re-using them for gifts for others, or making some sort of cool craft. They are all pretty stylish. Not too cheesy. And as luck would have it, they are mostly green-blue. I might make an abstract piece of scrapbook-y looking art and frame it for Sofia's room. Dunno yet. Any ideas?

And here's the gawdy knotty pine dresser that was mine as a kid. I'm thinking of painting it, but that's kind of a big project to take on. We'll see. Also, the curtain I hung in the closet doorway is way too long. Still trying to decide if I like the draped look, or if I should hem it.

So that's the gist of Sofia's bedroom. Stark. We'll liven it up in the next few weeks, hopefully. Next blog: a 32-week belly photo.

Fun Trouble

I recently added this site [Craftgawker] to my Bloglines, and I gotta tell ya... I've got this huuuuge hankerin' to start some crafts.

Remember me mentioning awhile back that Tiegan is in love with Chef Ramsay?

So, Tiegan didn't finish her cereal this morning (Lucky Charms) after repeated reminders to eat not only the marshmallows, but the rest of the pieces too. I wasn't toooo mean about it, because I only liked the marshmallows when I was a kid too. I can relate. But Jason - oh man. He can get creative, that's for sure.

He asked me to get Chef Ramsay on the phone. So I pretended to dial, said hello & all that, and handed J the phone. I should mention that Jason is an excellent actor. He carried on this conversation with a pretend Chef Ramsay about how Tiegan wasn't eating all her breakfast, and he wondered if Chef could stop over at our house to scold her for being wasteful. This was totally realistic. I almost believed him.

Tiegan was whispering, "Is he really gonna come over here? Is he really gonna yell at me?" while Jason had the phone, and inching into the corner to hide. She was truly scared, and I was starting to feel bad.

After the conversation was over and we were waiting for an imaginary knock on the door, Tiegan clung to Daddy for dear life. He put his arms straight out and she just gripped his torso like a Koala. I felt horribly guilty that she was so terrified for nothing, but it was pretty cute. He set her down on a chair in the living room and told her to stay there because someone was coming up the driveway. He started walking toward the back door. That's when the waterworks came. Her face got beet red. I have NEVER seen her so entirely terrified.

J was starting to realize the gravity of the situation and called out the back door, "Hey Chef, man, thanks for coming but I think we've got it under control." (as if they were best buds) "Yeah, she says she's not gonna waste food anymore & she's sorry. I think we're cool. See ya later!"

That was the biggest relief she's probably ever felt in her life. She & Daddy are now feeding the fish out on the dock.

Did the punishment fit the crime? Probably not... but I don't think she's ever going to waste food again.

Life in General

An all-inclusive update, because I have random things to say and no format in which to say them...

BABY

• We haven't done anything in Sofia's room yet. Apparently we are missing 2 key parts of Tiegan's old crib, so we are shopping for a new one. Then we can finish the room around it.
  
• I feel TONS of movement, practically all the time. I can even sit back and watch my belly bounce with her kicks. When I have someone else watch or feel, though, she stops almost completely. It's like she's shy.
• It pretty much looks like I've stuck a basketball under my shirt. Although I still haven't gained as much weight as last time, and the signs of PIH that I was showing a while ago are gone (whew), I really don't see how I could get much bigger than this!
  
• I am still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I will have TWO kids. Trying not to stress too much over our schedules and who will get the most attention. Gonna go with the flow.
• Hormones and emotions have been pretty dull, I must say! Sometimes I have little mood swings that bring me close to tears, but NOTHING like last time. Jason will even admit that I've actually been somewhat normal through this entire pregnancy.

TIEGAN

• What can I say about this little whirlwind? She wakes up at 7am and doesn't stop talking/singing/moving until 9pm. I always keep a notebook close by to record the silly, smart, awe-inspiring things that come out of her mouth.
• Her naps are pretty much non-existent now. Since I've been working for a week, she's gotten used to staying with grandparents during the day, and of course grandparents are too exciting to nap for. I haven't yet decided if this is good or bad.
• She is the most stubborn and defiant person I know. If she has her mind set on something, there are NO distractions and forget about changing her mind. If you have a handful of raisins, and she says "those aren't raisins," it's pretty much impossible to try and argue the truth. This is a source of great frustration for me.
• Puzzles, puzzles, puzzles. Her favorite activity, aside from coloring/crafts. She has several 25(ish) piece puzzles that she will complete in 2-3 minutes. And she's happy to do them over and over and over. This is the only thing that keeps her quiet.It's really fun for me to watch her wheels turning as she puts them together.
• She's somewhat of a tomboy. She loves kicking a beach ball around in the house and says she's going to play all sorts of different sports. She has tons of Hot Wheels and enjoys lining them all up and crashing them. She will tell you that her Pa Lee (Jason's dad) has a GTO and a Trans Am, and that Daddy has a Trans Am too but it caught on fire last year. (HA... sorry honey, it's still funny.)
• It bewilders me how incredibly smart she is. I know, every mother probably says this. Of course I'm biased. I just can't believe the words and sentences that come out of this little lady's mouth. But that's a whole new blog post.

HOME

• I've been able to get some projects done here and there. A while ago we totally rearranged the living room and "dining" room, which I am loving. Jason just fixed the sump pump in the basement, so we might be able to get a washer/dryer soon. That will be a huge relief, because I was majorly stressing about having a messy 3 year old and a drooly newborn, and not being able to do laundry whenever I needed.
• Although I think this is a great house to rent, I don't see us living here long-term. Jas wants to eventually buy the house from our landlords, but I see a few problems with that. Maybe someday we will come to an agreement... but for now we're happy renting until we can afford to buy our own house (on the lake of course).

JOB

• Love - love - love it. Yesterday my boss asked if I was going to come back next week. I said, "eh, I'll think about it..." ;)
• From what I can tell, it's a really laid-back environment full of competent people that get along and trust each other to do their jobs accurately. How much better can you get?
• So far it's working itself into my personal life really nicely. We're going to try a different set of hours next week, which I think will work even better. I love still having time to do things around the house, and going to bed completely exhausted. Actually, I have more energy/motivation to do things around the house now that I'm working. It sounds strange, but since I actually have something to get dolled up for, I figure I might as well stay active for the whole day if I can.
  

Not so much Mush as Logic.

**EDIT** I should make a note of it that I'm not referring to any of you in particular with this post. I'm not attacking the friends of mine who occasionally have hubby gripes (as we all do sometimes). I'm not talking about anyone in particular, for that matter. This entry was simply brought on by a trend I've seen in a few people I barely know. So, read on...

Today I will share with you one of my pet peeves.

It really bothers me when women, who work part time or not at all, complain about their husbands constantly.

Oh sure, I can understand the occasional complaint. Maybe you hinted & hinted & hinted that you would have liked a back rub after your particularly hard day (perhaps chasing the kids), and he was totally oblivious. Maybe you asked for the garbage to be taken out and got an "OK, just a minute" and it never happened, even though he wasn't doing anything important in the first place.

We've all been there. But the kind of complaining that really bothers me is constant bitching about the Mr. not being good enough or amounting to expectations. I guess I just really can't relate to that. When Jason comes home from a 10 or 12 hour day, without having taken a lunch (so that he gets out early on the weekend to spend more time with me), I don't expect much of him. Just being in his presence is enough for me. Sure, it might be nice to have some heavy lifting done around the house that I can't do myself. But here's my theory...

He works hard, all day, every day, to get a paycheck that makes our lives comfortable. We have everything we need thanks to him. Although I'm glad to have made a supplemental income here and there, it is because of his hard work the past 4 years that we are all happy & healthy. So since he works hard to give me a good life (because he cares about me), why shouldn't I do the same? I make sure he comes home to a warm and happy house. I don't ask much of him because I can empathize with how tired he must be after such a long day of dealing with angry customers/co-workers/bosses and moving furniture all day.

I don't put his feet up, sponge bathe him, fan him with a banana leaf and feed him grapes, but you get the picture. (Although I'm sure that's something he'd thoroughly enjoy.)

Don't think this is some self-righteous anti-feminism nonsense. Ohhh no. If I worked full time and HE was the part-time worker or stay-at-home Dad (which I wouldn't be opposed to), I suspect he would treat me the same way. I guess it's a little thing called respect.

Love ya, rabbit.